Fragile.
Furious.
And absolutely perfect.
The first time I saw her surrounded by NICU equipment, I cried so hard I could barely breathe.
There were wires attached to her tiny body. Machines blinked beside her. Nurses spoke calmly about oxygen levels, feeding, weight, and monitoring.
I wanted to scoop her up and run somewhere safe.
But there was nowhere safer than that room.
One nurse placed a hand on my shoulder.
“She’s a fighter.”
I nodded through my tears.
Then she added, “Her mother needs to be one too.”
So I became one.
I visited Chloe constantly.
I learned what every beep meant.
I celebrated every gram she gained.
I whispered promises beside her incubator late at night.
“You and me, baby girl. We’re going home.”
Eventually, we did.
But coming home didn’t mean the fear ended.
Chloe still needed breathing treatments and medication. My insurance covered part of the cost, but not nearly enough.
I cut every expense I possibly could.
I canceled subscriptions.
Stopped buying anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.
Sold jewelry.
Ate cheap meals that could last several days.
Ignored the pain from my healing incision whenever Chloe needed me.
I kept telling myself we were managing.
Until one afternoon at the pharmacy.
The pharmacist gave me the total for Chloe’s medication and supplies.
I stared at the screen.
Then I counted the money in my account.
Once.
Twice.
It didn’t matter.
I didn’t have enough.
I walked back to my car, placed the prescription information beside me, and sat behind the steering wheel while Chloe slept peacefully in her car seat.
My body still hurt from surgery.
My eyes burned from exhaustion.
And for the first time since Eric left, I admitted something to myself.
I needed help.
Part 3 — “She’s Your Problem”
Eric’s number was still in my phone.
