My ex-husband invited the former wife he believed was still childless and miserable to his family’s Christmas at their military estate. He never imagined I would arrive on a government tactical helicopter — with four eight-year-olds who had his face.

She dictated it to him in a back room in the November, sitting down, with a blanket over her knees.

He typed it out and sent it, and he put his own flavour on that last line — make sure you’re there — which is the only four words of that entire message that were ever his.

And then she said the other thing, which took the floor out from under me in a side room on Christmas Day in a dress uniform.

She knew.

She has known about those four children since they were about fourteen months old.

She found out the way anybody finds out anything, which is that the world is small.

Somebody said something at a funeral in the February of 2018 — a woman who had been at that courthouse in a different capacity and who had had four drinks.

And she tried to reach me.

Four separate times.