After our son di3d, we adopted a little girl — one evening, she noticed a photo of him, stared at it, and suddenly said, “I know him. He told me not to forget him.”

He did the arithmetic that everybody in this story has done at some point, and he decided which version of his wife he could live with.

He was wrong. I have told him he was wrong. I have also, since about the June, stopped needing him to agree with me about it.

Immy.

She was three years and six months old and she remembers three things: a red bag, singing, and being told not to forget him.

The singing is real. Robert Innes did not record it. But there is a line in the ambulance service record about the child being “settled” when crews arrived, which is a strange word for a three-year-old on a verge in the dark in December, and I have decided what it means, and nobody is going to talk me out of it.

The don’t forget me is the one that has undone every person I have told it to.

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